Family Dynamics of Addiction - Family Systems Can Work For Or Against Your Recovery

Alcoholics/addicts do not normally live in a circle made up exclusively of alcoholics and addicts. Most people suffering from addictions have a multitude of people in their lives who are affected by the addiction. Even alcoholics and addicts that are estranged from their significant others, whether spouses or parents, or siblings, of their children, impact the lives of those who love them. When there is addiction in your family, it is vital to get help, even if you are not the addict.

One of the reasons that it is essential for entire household to obtain support and services is the systemic nature of families. In a system, each part affects and is affected by all the parts. Changes in one part (person) of a system affects the whole system in a host of ways.

When teaching about family dynamics of addiction and recovery and explaining how a family system can operate to help or hinder the recovery of the alcoholic/addict, I will use a mobile to illustrate. Imagine if you will, a mobile with two grandparent generation figures on the top, two parents on the second tier, and three children on the third tier, then a dog and cat on the bottom tier. This mobile is hanging from the ceiling. It has a natural equilibrium, or balance, to it.

Family Dynamics of Addiction - Family Systems Can Work For Or Against Your Recovery

Now imagine a weight slowly being applied to one of the parent figures (it does not matter which one). As the strain is applied, all figures on the mobile adjust and adjust to accommodate the change in the altered parent. It flops around a bit as the weight is applied. As it settles in, the mobile has adapted a new equilibrium or balance.

Imagine now, that the parent figure with the weight (or addiction) suddenly has the weight removed. All parts of that system will be flopping around trying to re-establish an equilibrium. This is what happens in an addicted family system. Each part of that system affects every other part-even in recovery. As the relatives of an addict change their own behavior to accommodate the addict's changes, each family member tends to develop maladaptive characteristics and traits.

In the course of survival, the essence of relationships between family members changes. The non-addicted spouse often takes on more and more responsibilities and roles within the family. A marriage that was once a relationship between equals may change to one of caretaking or "parenting" the other. Power in the relationship shifts.

As the addiction progresses in the addict, so do the family dynamics of addiction. The course of those changes is predictable. The rules within the system changes as the members eventually reorganize without the addict. The alcoholic/addict may still be physically present, but may become emotionally absent and withdrawn from the family. Significant others often quit trying to re-engage the addict, and begins to carry on with life without him/her. These behavioral adjustments change the organization and functioning of the system, in the same process that addiction changes the system.

When the alcoholic/addict sobers up, this signals another change in the system. Family members may not know what to do with this change. As the alcoholic/addict tries to regain full functioning in the different areas of their lives, family members who have changed to adjust to the addiction may resist the relationship changes that recovery needs. The "parenting" spouse may resist giving up the need to parent the other spouse. They may oppose the thought of the alcoholic taking back responsibilities abandoned in the addiction or may still perceive the addict as "incompetent" and "untrustworthy". And, indeed, trust is a relationship attribute that takes a long time to return.

The spouse who has taken on more and more of the responsibilities as the addict has abandoned them, may be deeply invested in being "the responsible one", or "the good parent", and may need an "incompetent one" or "the bad parent", to counterbalance their role in the system. Families can resist the recovery changes in the addict in many ways. Spouses (and children) may even say "I liked you better stoned/drunk."

Often, loved ones like the alcoholic/addict just the way they are, with exception to the inappropriate, unpredictable behavior and the usual negative consequences of their addiction. They may share the alcoholic/addict's notions that all they need is to lose the addiction and everything else in their lives will be fine. Alcoholics/addicts and their family members may hold on to the notion that they will be able to learn to drink without the natural negative consequences associated with it.

Family systems typically contain more than one alcoholic/addict. In fact, there are usually layers of addiction in families. Frequently, there are two alcoholic spouses. Sometimes the addiction has progressed so much further in one of the spouses that it is more apparent that this spouse has addiction, when the addiction of the other partner is not so obvious. With many addicts in a family, there would be multiple family structures, roles, and rules that would tend to promote the continuing use of alcohol or other drugs. A typical example would be family celebrations that continue to involve alcohol.

On the other hand, family members often have the hidden expectation that a sober alcoholic will turn into the person that the family member always wanted them to be. It is very common that family members have identified many of the addict's undesirable personality characteristics or behavior as "the addiction" and believe that with the absence of the chemical, the addict's true self will emerge. Although many family members see a preview of the wonderful changes in the addict in the honeymoon period of recovery, sustained personality and behavioral changes occur over time.    

Thus, the recovering addict is subject to the hidden expectations of his/her family members, regardless of whether the family expect him/her to miraculously be the person they always wanted now that the chemical is absent from their lives, or whether they expect the addict to stay the same, but without the drugs.  The recovering addict often has a hard time trying to figure out where they fit in the family, how they feel about other family members, and how to stay clean and sober amidst conflicting expectations.  It is however, always helpful for everyone to remember that each recovering person is responsible for their own recovery. 

Family Dynamics of Addiction - Family Systems Can Work For Or Against Your Recovery
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Dr. Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D., LADC, LMFT, Marriage/Family Therapist and Alcohol/Drug Counselor. Whether you are dealing with addiction issues, emotional or mental health issues, relationship issues, or need some additional living skills, my website is available to you. The "Links" page offers a wide range of resources for additional help. There is a "Recommended Readings" page and an "Ask Peggy" column. My site is a work in progress with additional features, articles, and resources being added to it on a regular basis. Check it out at http://www.peggyferguson.com

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Home Decor Parties - A Great Home Business

If you're looking for a business that

o you can start and run from home

o requires a minimum start-up cost and

Home Decor Parties - A Great Home Business

o provides you the opportunity to work your own hours

o has the potential for you to earn as much as you want

check into becoming a consultant for a Home Decor company.

How A Home Party Business Works:

As a consultant with a home decor company, you start by purchasing a sales kit that has everything you need to hold your first party, or first several parties. You will also receive training from another consultant or manager in the company - usually the person who sponsored you.

The basic idea behind this type of business - known as direct sales, or direct selling, is that you recruit people who are willing to hold a home decor party in their home and invite guests - neighbors, colleagues, friends and family members.

During the party, you pass out a catalog and show the products that are in your sales kit, and take orders. You might also do a few simple product demonstrations - for example, show how to combine silk flowers with candlestick holders, or show how well different items in the catalog can be combined to create customized decor.

You also invite other guests to schedule a party in their homes at a later date, offering incentives such as free or reduced merchandise or "hostess-only" gifts that they can earn by holding a party.

Why Home Party Businesses are So Successful

These types of home shopping parties are very popular, especially for newly married, 30-something women, who are looking for ways of making their homes more attractive and welcoming, but have little time to shop or learn more than basic skills in home decorating. Plus, everyone loves going to a party, where you can relax, get together with friends and have a good time.

Home Party Companies

Two well-known home decor companies are "Home Interiors" and "Southern Living Home Party." According to their Website, Home Interiors has over 100,000 Decorating Consultants, and is the largest direct seller of home accessories in North America.

Southern Living Home Party offers individualized WebPages to each of their consultants and royalties (an additional commission) for every consultant who signs up as a result of your recommendation.

To find more home party companies, search on the Internet for "home décor parties" "direct selling opportunities" or "home décor party plan business."

Is a Home Party Decor Business Right for You?

Even people who say they don't like selling often do very well with this type of business, especially if they choose a company with a solid reputation, a good training program and quality merchandise.

According to Helen Huppert, a director with Southern Living At Home, she started her business as a way to get out of the house once a week but soon realized she could contribute to her family's monthly income. One of the things she likes best about running her own home party consulting business is that she knows she's not alone, that she's part of a team who is committed to her success.

It's important that you take a realistic look at your personal attitudes and likes and dislikes. If you're someone who doesn't like to get up in front of people and talk, or if you think you won't be willing to put in the time it takes to make phone calls and get parties lined up, this might not be the best business for you.

On the other hand, if the issue is simply that you're not sure of yourself, or you are shy, this might be exactly the type of business you need to build your confidence and increase your self-esteem. By letting your sponsor or trainer know about your misgivings, and letting her know what training you might benefit from the most, you'll increase your chances of success.

What to Watch Out For

Before choosing which home décor party company you want to work with, do some Background research on the company first. Ask your sponsor questions, and if possible, get the contact information of other home décor consultants as well and talk to them as well. Check with your local better business bureau, state attorney general's office and local Chamber of Commerce.

As with any home-based business opportunity, owning your own home décor consulting business, you need to investigate the offer and the company seriously, and make an informed decision. But once you make the commitment, dive in with both feet and prepare yourself to have a wonderful time meeting new people, earning additional income and maybe even winning some great prizes. Before long, you'll find that you've mastered new skills, and will be well on your way to being a successful business owner doing something you love.

Home Decor Parties - A Great Home Business
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FAQ - Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) & California Family Rights Act (CFRA)

Quick FAQS

What are FMLA and CFRA?

FMLA stands for Federal Family and Medical Leave Act. CFRA stands for California Family Rights Act. Both acts represent Federal and State laws that allow eligible employees to take up to 12 work weeks of unpaid leave during any 12 month period.

FAQ - Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) & California Family Rights Act (CFRA)

What are the acceptable reasons for taking a leave of absence?

For FMLA reasons will include a serious health condition of the employee, child, spouse, or parent; the birth of a child of the employee, placement of a child for adoption or foster care. This includes any period of incapacity due to pregnancy, including prenatal examinations or severe morning sickness.

CFRA works the same as FMLA, except that CFRA also allows for care of a registered domestic partner and excludes pregnancy. For pregnancy, California allows up to 4 months of Pregnancy Disability Leave (PDL) pursuant to the California Fair Employment and Housing Act for all employers with five or more full or part time employees. PDL is for any women hindered due to pregnancy, childbirth, or a related medical condition. This includes prenatal care and severe morning sickness

Federal Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) for Covered Employers

Covered Employers are those who engage in activity affecting commerce and employ 50 or more employees in 20 weeks of current or preceding year. Public agencies and private elementary and secondary schools are covered regardless of the number of employees.

California Family Rights Act (CFRA) for Covered Employers

Covered Employers are those who engage in business or enterprise in California and employ 50 or more employees in any 20 weeks of current or preceding calendar year. California, counties, and any political or civil subdivision of the state and cities are covered regardless of the number of employees.

FMLA and CFRA for Covered Employees

Covered Employees are employed with the employer for at least 12 months (need not be consecutive months), worked at least 1,250 hours during the 12 month period immediately preceding the leave, and employed at a worksite where 50 or more employees work within a distance of 75 surface miles.

What are the posting requirements?

An FMLA and CFRA notice explaining entitlements of leave and procedures for filing a complaint with the Department of Labor, Wage and Hour Division must be posted in a conspicuous place where applicants and employees tend to congregate.

Can the employer request medical certification?

FMLA and CFRA. An employer can request medical certification from the employee. The employer can ask for a second and even third opinion to verify the validity of the medical certification. However, under CFRA, a second or third medical opinion cannot be requested regarding the care of an employees family member. The employer must accept the certification

What is the employer's obligation to designate or deny leave?

For both FMLA and CFRA it is the employer's obligation to designate or deny leave, in writing and indicate if leave is paid or unpaid. Designating leave must be done prospectively and not retroactively unless the employer lacks sufficient information as to the reason for leave.

FMLA and CFRA allowed time off

For FMLA, up to 12 weeks in an established 12 month period is allowed. Intermittent leaves or a reduced work schedule may be taken when medically necessary. CFRA is the same as FMLA with the exception that leave(s) taken for the birth, adoption, or foster care placement shall be granted at a minimum of two week increments. On two occasions increments of less than two weeks may be used.

FMLA and CFRA leave will run concurrently, except in the case of a leave taken for disability due to pregnancy, childbirth or a related medical condition in the State of California which is covered separately under the California Pregnancy Disability Leave.

How to determine paid or unpaid leave.

FMLA and CFRA is unpaid, however, an employee may choose or the employer may require substitution of unpaid FMLA with vacation or other accrued time off and/or sick pay to the extent the circumstances meet the employer's typical policy for the use of sick pay.

Does the group health coverage continue while the employee is on leave?

For both FMLA and CFRA, the employer must continue any group health plan for the duration of FMLA leave, at least 12 weeks in a 12 month period, under the same conditions as if the employee was actively working. Longer health plan coverage or other benefits are determined by the employer's policy to the same extent and under the same conditions as would apply to any other leave. Employees are still responsible for their share of benefit premium payments.

What happens when the employee returns from leave?

For both FMLA and CFRA, the employee must be reinstated to the same or equivalent position at the end of leave. However, the employee has no greater right to reinstatement, benefits, or to other conditions of employment than if he or she was continuously employed during FMLA leave. The exception to this is for salaried key employees, defined as the highest paid 10% of all employees. If denial is necessary to prevent serious economic harm to the employer, then the employee needs to be properly notified.

The above is a brief summary of information pertaining to FMLA & CFRA and not a complete description of all rules and regulations. As rules and regulations are subject to change we cannot verify that all information is current or completely accurate. HCP National provides educational programs to assist our clients in risk management through compliance with various applicable federal laws, rules and regulations; however, this is neither an effort to practice law or a legal service. We encourage everyone to consult with their own attorney, certified public accountant and tax professional on any issues involving specific facts, persons, circumstances or situations.

FAQ - Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) & California Family Rights Act (CFRA)
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HCP National is a one-stop shop for all your insurance needs. We provide all lines of insurance coverage including employment risk management, ASO and Stop Loss Insurance, Fully Insured Managed Care Programs, Medical Malpractice E & O and D & O, Reinsurance, Product Liability, BOP's, Workers Compensation, All Forms of Property and Casualty Insurance.

At HCP National Insurance Services Inc., we provide a comprehensive and economical portfolio of insurance and reinsurance products and services to meet your company's needs. Come visit our website at HCP National Insurance.

Family Medical Leave Act - FMLA and Workers' Compensation Maze - An Employer FMLA Guide

Topics:

1. How are leaves covered under the FMLA and workers' compensation statutes and how much time off is required?

2. When is a WC injury covered under the FMLA?

Family Medical Leave Act - FMLA and Workers' Compensation Maze - An Employer FMLA Guide

3. Should WC leaves be treated separately from other types of leaves?

4. Should the employer give the employee any special notification under the FMLA?

5. Does an employer have to pay for health insurance for an employee on WC leave?

6. Can an employee on WC leave be required to use vacation or sicK leave?

7. If the employee is released to light duty, can he be required to return to work?

8. Does the employer have to reinstate an employee returning from a WC leave?

9. Prevent Legal Headaches: Count WC Leave as FMLA

Implementing the FMLA can be tricky, especially when a leave of absence involves workers' compensation injuries. This article answers some of the most common questions concerning workers' compensation and the FMLA.

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) statute does not contain any direct reference to workers' compensation injuries, and employers did not receive specific guidance on the topic until the April 1995 final regulations. However, since most workers' compensation leaves are covered under the FMLA, an employer's failure to treat these leaves as FMLA leaves can lead to inadvertent violations of the statute's requirements. To help navigate the complicated legal maze of the FMLA and workers' compensation, the Editors have identified eight frequently asked questions on this topic. The answers are based on analyses of the FMLA, its regulations, court cases, Department of Labor Wage and Hour opinion letters, and discussions with HR and legal experts.

1. How are leaves covered under the FMLA and workers' compensation statutes and how much time off is required?

The FMLA is a mandatory federal leave law intended to protect employees who need to take time away from work to attend to certain family and medical problems. It applies to employers with 50 or more employees and all public agencies and schools and allows an eligible employee to take up to 12 weeks of job-protected leave for various family and medical reasons, including medical leave when the employee is unable to work because of a "serious health condition."

Workers' compensation ("WC") statutes are primarily state liability and income continuation laws that protect employees who are injured while working. Almost every state has a law that guarantees an income (funded by employers and the state) to employees injured on the job and at the same time places limits on the employer's responsibility for the injury. Benefits vary from state to state but typically include medical treatment, rehabilitation, disability, and wage continuation. WC statutes generally are not leave laws, however. Most states do not require employers to give a specific amount of leave for workers' compensation, and only a few states require reinstatement from WC leave.

2. When is a WC injury covered under the FMLA?

If the employee is eligible for leave under the FMLA and the injury is considered a "serious health condition," the WC leave should be treated under the FMLA. The FMLA defines serious health condition broadly to include any "illness, injury, impairment, or physical or mental condition that involves" either inpatient care or continuing treatment by a health care provider. The statute does not distinguish between work-related and nonwork-related injuries. Thus, any on-the-job injury that requires an employee to take leave to seek inpatient care or continuing treatment likely will be covered by the FMLA.

Accordingly, whenever an employee is injured on the job and needs time off to recover, the employer immediately should determine if the employee also is eligible for leave under the FMLA. If the employee is eligible for FMLA leave, the employer should notify the employee in writing that the leave is covered under the FMLA so that the leave time may be counted against the employee's 12-week FMLA entitlement. If the employer does not run the WC leave concurrently with the FMLA leave, the employee may still have the full 12-week FMLA entitlement available to use after the WC leave.

3. Should WC leaves be treated separately from other types of leaves?

Some experts suggest that WC leaves be treated separately from all other types of leaves to ensure compliance with the requirements of state workers' compensation laws. However, treating workers' compensation as a totally separate category of leave may cause employers to inadvertently neglect the requirements of the FMLA.

4. Should the employer give the employee any special notification under the FMLA?

In order to deduct the time spent on WC leave from an employee's annual FMLA leave entitlement, the employer must notify the employee in writing that the WC leave is designated as FMLA leave and will count against, and run concurrently with, the employee's 12-week entitlement. The notice to the employee must detail the specific obligations of the employee while on FMLA leave and explain the consequences of a failure to meet these obligations. Most employers use the Department of Labor's Form WH-381 to comply with these notice requirements. If the employer does not provide the notice, it cannot count the WC leave towards the 12-week FMLA entitlement. Therefore, the employee may be entitled to an additional 12 weeks of FMLA leave at a later date.

If the employee has been on WC leave without being placed specifically on FMLA leave, the employer should send notice to the employee immediately so that the FMLA clock starts running. However, the employer may then only designate the leave from the date written notice to the employee is provided. It cannot retroactively designate the time spent on WC leave against the FMLA entitlement.

5. Does an employer have to pay for health insurance for an employee on WC leave?

If the employee qualifies for FMLA leave and the employer normally pays for health insurance, the answer is yes. Although most state WC laws do not require employers to pay for health insurance during a WC leave, the FMLA requires the continuation of health insurance benefits during an FMLA leave. Typically, the state WC laws cover the employee's medical costs related to the work injury but do not mandate continued coverage under, or payment for, a health insurance plan. However, under the FMLA, employers must provide the same health benefits during an eligible employee's FMLA leave that it would have provided if the employee worked throughout the leave. Thus, if the employer normally pays 80% of an employee's health benefits premium, it must continue to do so during the employee's FMLA/WC leave.

6. Can an employee on WC leave be required to use vacation or sick leave?

The FMLA allows employers to require employees, or employees to elect, to substitute accrued vacation, sick, or other paid leave for all or part of the 12 weeks of unpaid leave. Employees on WC leave typically receive up to two-thirds of their normal pay as a wage benefit under state law. In recognition of this benefit, the FMLA regulations do not allow the use of paid leave if the employee is receiving workers' compensation, even to make the employee "whole" or if requested by the employee. However, the employer may designate the leave as FMLA leave and count it against the employee's 12-week FMLA entitlement.

7. If the employee is released to light duty, can he be required to return to work?

Most light duty positions do not include the employee's normal job functions. Therefore, if the employee is unable to perform the essential functions of the job because of the work-related injury, he may continue to take any remaining FMLA leave and cannot be required to accept the light duty position. However, if the state workers' compensation statute requires the employee to take the light duty assignment to continue receiving wage benefits, the employee's WC benefits may be discontinued. The employee then must be allowed to use any accrued paid leave during the remaining unpaid FMLA leave.

8. Does the employer have to reinstate an employee returning from a WC leave?

If the employee is covered under the FMLA, he must be reinstated to the same or an equivalent position. The employee must be reinstated even if the employer did not notify the employee of coverage under the FMLA. If the employee does not return to work at the end of the 12-week FMLA leave, the employer may terminate the employee without violating the FMLA as long as the termination is consistent with the treatment of similarly-situated employees who have taken FMLA leave. However, the employee must have been properly placed on FMLA leave and notified that the time off for WC leave ran concurrently with the FMLA. In addition, a few state WC laws, such as Oregon, require reinstatement regardless of the length of the WC leave. As a further complication, the employee may be considered disabled under the Americans with Disabilities Act and, therefore, may be entitled to additional leave as an accommodation.

9. Prevent Legal Headaches: Count WC Leave as FMLA

Since most workers' compensation leaves typically will be covered under the FMLA, employers should be prepared to comply with both laws. Failure to categorize a WC leave as a FMLA leave generally will not harm the employee as long as he gets all of the benefits of FMLA leave, such as continued health insurance and reinstatement rights. However, the employer may lose the opportunity to count the time on WC leave against the employee's FMLA entitlement and may extend unnecessarily the employee's FMLA leave eligibility. In addition, employers may violate the FMLA if they do not reinstate an employee from a WC leave that was not properly designated as FMLA leave.

Family Medical Leave Act - FMLA and Workers' Compensation Maze - An Employer FMLA Guide
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Download free HR Policies at http://www.ppspublishers.com

Camping Out - Easy Dinner Recipes and Dinner Ideas For Family Fun

Whether you have a mega-bus RV, a trailer, camper, or tent, camping is a wonderful way to get away from it all and enjoy the outdoors as a family together. It really is a great exercise in family togetherness as you unplug most of life's distractions and focus on creating shelter and food, then enjoying the outdoors together. A few easy dinners recipes and you'll soon be gathered around a roaring fire enjoying each others' company.

I grew up camping with my family regularly. We pulled a camping trailer and loved the convenience to set up camp quickly and carry the basics with us. I still remember nights spent playing cards together and cooking over the grill. We learned to always be ready to leave early, because my father loved to leave the night or day before we planned. He would just get excited and want to go early. Pretty cute, huh?

Now that I have a family of my own I try to make it a memory for us as well. We live in Washington state and the state parks are wonderful. Our favorite, located on the north end of Whidbey Island is Deception Pass State Park. It is lovely with some waterfront spaces, and wonderful facilities. We love to go there. Again I like to prepare in advance the dinner for our first night.

Camping Out - Easy Dinner Recipes and Dinner Ideas For Family Fun

I usually start a flank steak marinating before we leave and by the time we travel, arrive, setup camp and get the fire going, the steaks is marinated and the dinner is wonderful, tender, succulent, flavorful steak. If you have time before hand, it's great to parboil some small potatoes until they are almost done. Then at supper time, roll them in olive oil and salt and pepper and put them on skewers to grill up, deliciously, with crispy, grill marked skin. I usually plan a bagged salad to round out the meal and then go in for a grilled dessert.

Have you ever roasted bananas on the campfire? They're delicious. Wrap them in foil sprinkled with brown sugar and cinnamon. Heat until warmed through and serve with a spoon to be eaten straight from the foil.

For a great camping breakfast, consider packing some crescent rolls and jam. Wrap the rolls around a roasting stick, leaving an opening at the top (we'll fill that with jam later). Let each person toast their roll over the fire until golden brown outside and cooked through. Carefully take it off the stick or eat it off the stick if your brave. Fill the opening at the top with jam or jelly and eat while they're hot.

Campfire Grilled Flank Steak

We always plan this for the first night camping. It is marinating on the way and cooks in a flash once we get the fire going.

Serves 4

Ingredients

2 lb Flank steak
1/4 C Soy sauce
1/4 C Worcestershire sauce
1/4 C Water
2 Tb Rosemary - fresh, minced

Instructions

Combine all ingredients in a zip lock bag and marinate overnight or all day. Grill 4 to 5 minutes per side or until desired degree of doneness. Cover and rest 10 minutes, then slice in thin slices across the grain in the bias.

Grilled Rosemary Potatoes

The potatoes are parboiled to give them a head start, then rolled in olive oil, salt and rosemary and finished on the grill. The skins are crispu and delicious.

Serves 4

Ingredients

1 lb Red potatoes - small
2 Tb Olive oil
Sea salt
1 Tb Rosemary - fresh, minced

Instructions

In a large pot of boiling salted water cook the potatoes until just slightly under done. Drain, then drizzle with olive oil, salt and rosemary. Toss to coat. Thread on metal skewers is desired. Grill turning regularly, until crispy and done.

Camping Out - Easy Dinner Recipes and Dinner Ideas For Family Fun
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Julie Languille Mom, step-mom, foster mom and adoptive mom and owner of Dinners In A Flash http://www.dinnersinaflash.com Easy Dinner Recipes, Menus and Meal Planning for Busy Families

Roles and Responsibilities of a Family Therapist

Every family is facing some or the other clashes that creates despair, frustration, and stress amongst the family members. To maintain peace at home, many families take help of professional advice and these professionals are known as family therapists.

A family therapist is an individual who plays a significant role of resolving serious issues and conflicts within the family members. Be it any issue like divorce, financial crisis, stressed environment, or any other kind of problem, a family therapist can help diagnose the issue and bring out a perfect solution to the same.

Here are some of the key roles and responsibilities of therapists that play a significant role in creating a happy and peaceful environment at home:

Roles and Responsibilities of a Family Therapist

• A family therapist is responsible for implementing various programs to help families resolve their internal issues.

• They also provide counseling to help them value relationship and strengthen the bonding.

• They also help a great deal in diagnosing mental and emotional disorders.

• Collect all information about customers and then carry out discussions and interviews to know all about the issue.

• They also give a complete program with post-treatment activities.

• Examine the customer and then take decision on whether counseling is required or a medical treatment is necessary.

• Develop and implement different strategies.

• Encourage and motivate individuals to tackle their problems effectively.

• They also maintain records and case files of all the clients. These files contain the complete information about the customer's history, assigned activities, evaluations, treatment given, and progress note.

• They also associate themselves with lawyers to help couples resolve the issue of child custody.

• Provide the required information about legal, financial, social, and emotional issues to the clients.

• Offer public education and consultation to all those who require and all those who ask for it.

• Some therapists also conduct seminars, workshops and training programs to involve more number of participants.

• With varied programs and treatments, they show customers a path leading to a peaceful and spiritual living.

Roles and Responsibilities of a Family Therapist
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Special Needs Children: A New Way of Life for the Family

If you have found yourself in a situation where there is a child with special needs in your life, it is important to have realistic expectations and recognize that there is indeed a large difference between raising 'typical' children vs. raising children with special needs. The stresses and burdens are not only greater, but can also be costly, and for the family it is often a new way of life. As a result, parents of special needs children should be aware of and understand how to cope with these particular concerns, whether they are emotional, relational, or financial in nature - and know that there is help available when it is needed. Of course, children with disabilities are no less special or less important than their counterparts. They are no less loved, and it is our jobs as parents and particularly fathers to give these children the attention and guidance they deserve and need. However, we are doing ourselves and our children a disservice if we do not acknowledge the added stresses and burdens that can be brought on when these children become a part of our life.

The more obvious burden is generally the economic burden. Whether a child has physical limitations that require specific equipment such as a walker or a wheelchair, or their needs require direct nursing and supervision, these are often costly and can be prohibitively expensive. There are ways to mitigate the new financial burdens through changes in lifestyle but if the child has needs beyond the scope of the family finances there are places to turn for help and support.

Arguably the greatest stress is the relational changes that take place in a household with a child of special needs. Depending on the disability and its degree of complexity, there are likely to be significant changes in the home. Other children in the home can be profoundly affected. They may not have the same freedoms as they did before their sibling arrived or the same freedoms as their peers. The other children may find themselves feeling ignored and not a priority. They could become depressed as a result and suffer in their schoolwork. In my home this was a significant problem initially in the first couple of years. However with help from guidance counselors and a direct focus on the issue, the effect became much milder as the older 'typical' child came to understand our new reality and his role in our adjusted family system. In his maturation he has begun to learn the scope of his responsibility.

Special Needs Children: A New Way of Life for the Family

One hidden cost is the time that a parent takes away from work or any existing social life. There are occasions when a parent may be unable to work in order to provide the necessary services a child may need and this 'hidden' cost can include the loss of a career. I have met more than a few fathers that became stay at home dads and primary care-givers to their special needs children when they realized there wasn't much of an option. Often-times isolation is the result. Isolation is easy to feel in a society where gender-based roles are still the stereo-type. Dads just don't generally fit in with the regular 'mommy and me 'groups and instead typically stay in the 'cave'.

But there is more than the apparent and profound social impact for the parents and that impact on social life can also include the intra-marital relationships between spouses. Whether there are jealousies, a lack of communication or just general friction, the couples must come to terms with the stresses or the relationship could be damaged. In cases where couples do communicate and work together their bonds can actually strengthen by the necessity of a common goal.

So where is the first place one could look for help and assistance? My first answer is your personal support system of family, friends and Church. But many times we don't have those outlets available or those resources might be ill-equipped for the task. There are other options.

One place to start would be your Community Services Board. A community Services Board is an entry point into the publicly-funded services for mental health, intellectual disability as well as substance abuse. There are a number of affiliated programs that can offer a variety of family services. Additionally there are specific programs of assistance including Medicaid Waivers which may be available for a qualifying child to receive the services they require regardless of the family income. See my article regarding Medicaid Waivers for more specific information. Those services could be medical equipment, transportation, respite care, OT, Speech or other therapies. In most communities and jurisdictions the Department of Social Services is a direct component of the Community Services Board. They can be very valuable in your search for services, and work on the behalf of all children regardless of the life challenges they face.

We change our jobs; change our habits; change our manner of dress; change our goals; change our expectations of life; change our dreams; change our relationships; and change our way of thinking when we have a child with special needs...it will change the family.

What have you found to be of service in your search to provide the best for your Special Needs Kid? Any ideas, or suggestions to add? As always, thanks for reading...

Special Needs Children: A New Way of Life for the Family
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